The "Rant" Rant

The internet is full of rants. You can't type anything into a search engine without it bringing up a list of blogs where someone voices their (more often than not) badly written views on whatever it is you're searching for, with such a callous disregard for the English language that it sometimes causes me physical pain. Search for a film title, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, for example, and I guarantee you'll get such gems as "this f1lm r0kz so hard. Megan Fox is h00t! Ur gay if U don't l1ke it, LOLZ", followed by comments from other people telling the blogger that it is in fact they who are a homosexual for liking the film in the first place, and probably casting aspersions about the said blogger's parentage.

The rise of the blog, as well as websites like Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, have given every single moron in the world the chance to voice their unwanted opinions about whatever they like. These opinions are, more often than not, complete and utter nonsense being spouted by someone who doesn't actually have the first clue what they're talking about. And that's with the most basic of examples, like the one above. Some of these people actually try to talk about politics, or religion, or love, or any other big topic you care to mention, and end up just coming across as the angry racist bigots they probably are. Angry racist bigots with really bad grammar. Who puts numbers in words? What function does it serve other than making you look like a knob? Language is always evolving, yes, but you can't say text-speak is a step forward, surely? What we need is a drastic opinion reduction. Then the internet would be a far better place.

"But wait", I hear you cry, "isn't this just you putting forward your own opinion on the internet? One which will appear in a blog, and also, most likely, on your facebook page? And I bet you'll link to it from your twitter feed too, won't you?" Well, yes. On all counts. This is my opinion. It will be blogged. It will be on facebook. I will link to it from twitter. And is my opinion any more valid than anyone else's on the internet? Honestly?

Yes. Yes it is.

You see, my opinions are quite different from the rest of the internet for one major reason. They're mine. My opinions are far more important than most of the rest of the bloggers on the internet, because I'm better than them. I'm more intelligent, I speak and type properly without having to resort to that godforsaken text speak, and I can form a rational argument that isn't "you're gay" if someone disagrees with me. I also respect the opinions of my peers, and the people I consider to be my equals (if you're reading this, then the chances are you're one of them). I welcome comments from people as intelligent as I am, whether you agree or disagree with me. And I want to read your opinions on things, then chime in with my own thoughts on the subject. Like me, you're better than the rest of the internet, and our opinions can change the world.

But (you knew that was coming), it's not that simple. The black and white viewpoint of the clever people versus the idiotic masses isn't quite the truth of things. As with anything else, there are shades of gray. By reading the above paragraph, you may well be coming to the conclusion that I suffer from some kind of superiority complex. It's not something I can really deny. However, arrogance and superiority are two qualities I can't stand in people. So the fact that I often find myself feeling superior to other people also makes me feel inferior at the same time. To quote one of my favourite TV shows, I've got a superiority complex, and I've got an inferiority complex about it. It means that, while I think my opinions matter, I also think they really don't. It doesn't matter what I rant about, because no one really wants to hear it. It's the contradictory viewpoint of the self aware internet blogger. My opinions are both the most and the least important ones out there. Well, okay, Perez Hilton's are the least important, then mine.

All of this means I actually end up somewhere in the middle. I'll blog, I'll rant, I'll review, and I'll continue to do so because I want to get my voice out there. I don't actually mind if anyone reads it or not. If they comment on it, great, but they don't have to. I like to write, and a blog like this is just one of the many outlets I use to do so. The point of writing, of course, is to be read, and nowhere is the audience bigger than on the internet, a formless entity which wraps the entire world in its web, giving basically anyone the chance to read anything. And in a fair and balanced world, everyone should have the right to voice their own opinion on it. Yes, it sounds like I'm calling for an online cull at the beginning of this rant, but I'm a contradictory, self aware, internet blogger, remember? So I end by contradicting myself. I end by saying, let the morons stay. Let them write their rants and continue to butcher our language. Because at the end of the day, it gives me someone I can look down on and think "at least I'm not them."