Humbugged

Christmas is on its way then. Less than two weeks to go in fact. Now, historically speaking, I'd normally be starting to feel pretty darned festive by now. I'd be writing cards, decorating stuff and being just generally chirpy and annoying.

This year though? I'm not feeling it. Christmas is coming, and I'm sat here thinking "does it have to?" I'm dreading it. If anything, it seems like a bloody chore to me. The presents, the running around seeing all the various family members and friends, the delicate balancing act of getting drunk enough to not care but not so drunk that my family disown me... It all seems like so much effort to go to. I've become Ebenezer Scrooge at the age of twenty-eight.

And I find myself thinking, how did this happen? When exactly did I go from loving Christmas to wanting it to just go away? I've come up with several possible answers.

1) It's just something which happens as you get older. When you're a child, Christmas really is a magical time (or it's supposed to be). You just accept the idea that there's a magical man in the the North Pole who makes toys with the elves and flies around the world once a year in his sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. It makes perfect sense! Plus, presents! Fuck, presents are the best thing ever when you're a child. Don't get me wrong, presents stay pretty cool as an adult, but when you're a child they're something else. New stuff! Yes! I was bored of my old stuff! Whoo!

But as you get older, the magic starts to go away. You can watch Miracle On 34th Street as many times as you like, it doesn't make it real. Santa's a fiction, and a pretty ludicrous one at that. How were we ever gullible enough to fall for it? And once that part's gone, it really all starts to fade. Christmas becomes less about magic, and more about spending time with your friends and family. Which sounds nice, doesn't it?

Only it doesn't, because we've all got those family members and friends who only end up annoying us after we've spent a small amount of time with them, and that ain't changing just because it's Christmas. If anything, Christmas leads to more arguments over pointles shit and people getting your back up over nothing. And of course, you're already drunk from all the Christmas liquers you've imbibed, which just serves to make you easier to anger, but less able to argue your point with anything resembling eloquence, which only annoys you further because you're not getting your side across properly. Basically, you're fucked.

So, yeah. Christmas just gets worse as you get older.

Only it doesn't. That's total bullshit. All of it. There's this idea that we all turn into Scrooge at Christmas when we get older, but the truth of it is completely different. Christmas is actually an opportunity for all of us to feel like we are children again. The bright colours, the games, the ludicrous amounts of sugar we consume... Throw in the aforementioned liquers, and you've got yourself an awesome party. If anything, as a grown up you have the capacity to enjoy Christmas even more than you did as a child. You can still believe in the magic if you want. Hell, my mum makes us watch Miracle On 34th Street every year, and every year it gets me at the end. It's a wonderful, feel good movie. As an adult, you can enjoy the time on a lot more levels than you could as a child. And as for that annoying family member or friend? You won't give a shit, because if they do start piss you off, then you'll hopefully have no shortage of other people you can go and talk to. T'is the season of goodwill, after all.

So no. My humbug feelings aren't down to my getting older. Besides, I know people three times my age who still fucking love Christmas. Can't get enough of it. Between you and me, I think they may have a Christmas problem.

2) I'm turning into my dad. Maybe this should be point 1.5, 'cos it's basically the same as the point above, just a little more specific. As a child, I was always under the impression that Dad didn't like Christmas. I mean, he hated the Christmas tree. When he was putting it up in the living room was the only time of year I'd ever hear my father swear. Even this year, when I was on the phone to Dad a few days ago, he asked if I was feeling festive yet. "No, I'm feeling quite humbug actually." was the response. My dad called me a good boy. But ya know what? It's all a put on. My dad loves Christmas. Remember my point about Christmas being an excuse for people to act like children again? It's more true of my dad than anyone else.

So this whole "humbug" thing I've got going on can't be inherited from my dad, because with him, it's not real.

3) Ah, yes. Here we go. My last three Christmases have sucked. Like, really, really sucked. Three years ago, my godson very kindly gave me the gift of the Norovirus. It hit me on Christmas Eve. Badly. I spent a large portion of the day throwing up and lying in bed feeling utterly awful. While the worst of it passed pretty quickly, and by Christmas Day itself I was recovering, I didn't feel right for a good few weeks afterwards. My appetite was low, I couldn't really eat much in the way of sugary treats, and drinking was right out. Made for a pretty lousy new year as well, if I'm honest. Everyone was drinking, and I had to stay sober then go to bed early 'cos I had work in the morning. Amazing.

The year after that, I'll be honest, there wasn't any particular event which brought me down. I think I was just in a weird headspace, for reasons I can't remember, and I didn't particularly enjoy Christmas. New Year was also pretty lousy. Just one of those things, I guess.

But last year... Oh, boy, did that suck. Just before Christmas, I broke up with my girlfriend. Now, there's been a lot said about the events just prior to and since the break up, a lot of it by me, on the internet, while drunk. Suffice to say, I don't really feel like going into it again right now, but it left me in a bad way. Throw in having to work twelve hour night shifts on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, shifts which were busier than any night shifts I'd ever worked before, and I was pretty fed up. My good friend Tim did his best to cheer me up by coming to stay, just so I'd have some company when I wasn't in work, but I was far from my best. It wasn't helped by the fact that on Christmas morning, my sister, Charlotte, got engaged. Now, I love my sister, and I love her fiance, and I was really happy for them. But it meant that when I did finally go back to Surrey to visit the family, all everyone was talking about was weddings, marriage and happy couples. Pretty much the last things I wanted to talk about. Charlotte, and bless her for this, did try and deflect the conversation whenever she could, and even apologised to me at one point for how much engagement talk I was having to put up with, but it got to me.

New years... Actually, that was okay. I got very drunk indeed. Two day hangover drunk. My memory gets a bit fuzzy, if I'm honest, but I think I had fun...

So, there's the three options. Yeah, it's probably option three. A trilogy of disappointing Christmases has left me, at best, amibvolent towards the season, as I wait to see what horrible fate befalls me this time around. It's stupid, I know, but it's there. It's almost become routine for me that Christmas be lame. Which, I guess, is the cause of my humbug this time around.

Maybe it'll clear. You never know, Christmas morning could roll around and I'll be the most festive person this side of a visit from three ghosts. If I can have a good Christmas or two, then maybe that sense of childish excitement about the season will return as well. I kind of hope so.

But for now, let me have my humbug.

Humbug!

Into Every Generation...

By now, every blogger on the internet has had their say about the new Buffy movie Warner Bros are planning, which will reboot the franchise and features absolutely no involvement from Joss Whedon. In particular, I recommend you read my friend Kirsty's thoughts on it here: http://winskillfull-explains.blogspot.com/2009/05/staking-cash-cow.html

I also recommend you read the words of Master Whedon himself here: http://uk.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b212644_joss_whedon_reacts_buffy_movie_news_i.html

But what about my thoughts on the subject. They matter, right? Oh. Well. You're getting them anyway.

Warner Bros, this is an awful, awful idea, for a number of reasons. Let's go into them, shall we?

1. No one, absolutely no one, understands the character and world of Buffy like Joss Whedon and the team of superb writers who helped him craft seven of the finest seasons of television in the history of entertainment.



Hush. The Body. Once More With Feeling. Conversations With Dead People. The list of fantastic episodes goes on and on. Sure, Joss may be busy with the Avengers right now, but get him on as a producer, ask Jane Espenson, or Marti Noxon, or Douglas Petrie to write it. That would work fine. Who do we have instead? Whit Anderson. Yeah, I don't know either. One second. *checks IMDB* Oh, right, she "acted" in Yes Man and Zombie Strippers. Yeah, those are the credentials required. Now, in fairness, Anderson could be an excellent writer. I don't know. But some of her comments don't inspire confidence. In the same paragraph, she claims Buffy is timeless and says it's time to update it. If something's timeless, surely it doesn't need updating? She also claims she gets it because she was the same age as Buffy when she was watching it. So were a lot of other people, love. Doesn't mean they know it better than Whedon.

2. This has been tried before, numerous times, and rarely with success. How many reboots do you know which have done well? Let's look at one of the worst examples of a previous reboot as an example.



Back in the late nineties, Marvel decided to reboot Spider-Man. While they would eventually find success with this with Ultimate Spider-Man (the exception which proves the rule), their first attempt was the disastrous Spider-Man: Chapter One. For thirteen issues, writer/artist John Byrne retold stories which had been done thirty years earlier, and about three hundred times better, by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. The results were so poor that these days, the readers and Marvel both would prefer to pretend it just never happened. The original Spider-Man stories, like Buffy, are timeless. Yes, there's a very nineteen-sixties sensibility in the way the stories are told, but if you read them, they more than hold up today. In trying to update something which doesn't need updating in the first place, you can only ruin it. This is why things like Ultimate Spider-Man, or J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot, don't try and tell the same story again, but use the same characters and situations to tell completely new stories. Now, maybe that's what Whit Anderson will be doing with Buffy. But, that brings us on to the next point.

3. Yes, Buffy fans would like more Buffy. And they're already getting it.



Okay, it's not the movie we would all like, but let's be honest now, that's never going to happen. Instead, Whedon has transplanted his universe to the world of comics. Dark Horse have been publishing Buffy Season Eight for a few years now, with Whedon overseeing the whole thing and writing some of the issues himself. He's also brought in some of the shows writers, like Jane Espenson and Drew Goddard, as well as some of the best writers working in comics today, such as Brian K. Vaughan and Brad Meltzer, to pen storyarcs. It's not exactly the same as the show. The fact that there is no budget to restrict them, just the imagination of the talented artists who draw the comic, does mean that they can do pretty much anything they like (flying cars, a giant robot rampaging through Tokyo, some rather immense godlike creatures and Dawn as a centaur are among the sights we'd never have seen on screen), and this has lead, at times, to the writers (Joss included) possibly overindulging themselves, but it's still a worthy follow up to the TV show. Season eight is drawing to a close soon, but season nine has already been confirmed. With Buffy continuing in comic form, under the guiding hand of her creator, is there really any need for a new version from someone else?

4. Warner Bros don't care about Buffy. They just want money.



Obviously, we all know that, but the proof, if it were needed, comes when you consider this fact: Warner Bros cancelled Buffy at the end of season five. In order to keep going, Buffy had to move to the UPN network. Warner Bros then cancelled Buffy spin off Angel after its fifth season. There was no saving Angel, unfortunately, which was axeded to make way for a remake of sixties vampire show Dark Shadows. A show which never got passed the pilot stage. When Warner Bros later commissioned Supernatural, a show I do admittedly like, they might as well have been saying "Oh shit oh shit oh shit we cancelled Angel why did we do that". And now, suddenly, they want to make Buffy again? They've seen how well season eight's been doing in comics. They've seen the DVD sales. It's about nothing but the cash.

Despite all of our protests, this is happening. Nothing we can do about that at this point. However, on the off chance that any studio execs are reading this (and I haven't offended them too much), I have the following suggestions for them which would make this a good thing.

1. Wait until after Avengers is done, and get Joss involved.

2. Change the setting in a way that no one really expects. Ooh, here's an idea. Set it in space. And get rid of all the monsters and demons.

3. How about, instead of a high school girl, Buffy is a man. A rogueish man who was on the losing side of a war, and now captains a space ship, taking whatever jobs he can to feed his Scooby Gang, or crew. You know who should play him? That nice Nathan Fillion fella.

4. Instead of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I would like to suggest an alternative title: Serenity 2.

I think that would be a winner. Make it happen studio execs, and I'll call off the mercenaries.

In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night...

By now, if you're reading this particular blog, chances are you've seen the Green Lantern movie trailer. I've watched it a few times now, and thought it only right that I chime in with my two cents, given he's one of my favourite characters. The thing is, the more I watch it, the less I like it, and it's not down to any one story element or character issue that the trailer raises, but rather, the look of the film.

Now, I'm not one of those who thinks that effects are the be all and end all of a movie. Far from it. I can quite happily sit through a film with only average effects if the storyline keeps me hooked. Or a shit film with shit effects if it's one of those shit films which is also AWESOME!!!! But I digress. The problem is, the effects in Green Lantern, as they are right now, look awful. The alien characters, many of whom could've been done as prosthetics, seem to have been augmented with CGI, and it looks wrong. I understand the need for Kilowog to be a CGI creation. I mean, look at him.



But why do it with Abin Sur or Sinestro when some pink face paint would work just as well?





































It doesn't make sense. The ring effects also look wrong, though I understand that's harder to nail down as everyone will have a different idea about how these should look in action. That said, the Justice League cartoon got it pretty right, so maybe the production team should look here for inspiration?



The worst part though is the costume. When the initial pictures were released, it looked bad. We knew all along the Green Lantern uniform was going to be a CGI creation. For some reason. And the pictures didn't inspire confidence. I chose to give it the benefit of the doubt though. Perhaps, in motion, it might look quite good? It doesn't. I get what they're trying to do. The uniform is a creation of the ring, so they've tried to make it look like it's made of energy. But it's really not working. The Green Lantern uniform is, for my money, one of the best superhero costumes out there. To see it ruined like this, creating one of the worst looking superhero costumes on film since the Batsuit gained nipples... It doesn't bode well.

What I will defend, however, is Ryan Reynold's portrayal of Hal Jordan. A lot of people are complaining that he's playing him as too cocky and light hearted, but ya know what, Hal Jordan is cocky and light hearted! He's a devil may care test pilot with a huge streak of arrogance running through him. There have been comparisons with the Iron Man film, with some people saying that this is the tone the producers are going for. Ignoring the tone of the films themselves, it's actually quite apt to compare Hal Jordan with Tony Stark. Hal may not have Tony's millions, and was never as big a prick as Stark was when he started out, but he does share Stark's immense levels of self belief and eye for the ladies. Hal has mellowed in recent years in the comics (which, given events, is only natural), but as far as the trailer shows us, Ryan Reynolds performance is pretty perfect for the younger, inexperienced and, importantly, fearless Hal Jordan who first became Green Lantern.

The trailer hasn't shown us much of the villains to judge their performances, or given away a huge amount of the storyline, so we don't have much to go on, but to be honest, I'm a little worried about this. The aforementioned tone, yes, does seem to have been influenced by Iron Man, which, despite the character similarities, just won't work for Green Lantern. And those effects... They need to be cleaned up if they want people to believe them. They have time to do so, but I can't help but think it's not going to be enough.

Fingers crossed, this will all turn out okay. The involvement of Geoff Johns, who has written some of the best Green Lantern comics ever, is reason to think they might pull this off, as is the fact that it's directed by Martin Campbell, who so successfully revitalised Bond in Casino Royale. But for now, we're just going to have to wait and see whether the Green Lantern film is cinemas Brightest Day, or its Blackest Night.

I Am A Writer

Earlier on today, I was told I'm not a writer. This surprised me, because I've been writing for a long time now. Scripts, prose, comics, blogs, even the odd poem. The point was then clarified. "You're not a writer, you're a dude who writes, and writes well." While I appreciate the compliment, it still didn't ring true with me. I asked what the difference was. The answer given was as follows:- "For one, the grand total of books of writings of yours published by a major publisher is...?"

Ah, so to be a writer, you have to be published by a major publisher, or at least getting paid to write. Otherwise, you're just someone who writes.

No. Wrong. I may not get paid to do it at the moment, but I am definitely a writer. Now, I'll be honest, there are a lot of people out there who claim to be writers, but aren't. A lot of people who label themselves writers only write the occasional blog, maybe once a month, in which most of the words they use more closely resemble a random number spat out by a calculator, and end every sentence with the non-word "LOLZ". These people, despite their claims, are not writers.

So what does make a writer? Well, it's probably subjective, and I bet you'd get a different answer from any writer you asked. For me though, it boils down to a few key points. First of all, commitment. A writer lives and breathes writing. When they're not writing, they want to be writing. Sometimes it's hard, yes. When you're not getting paid to write, and also have to work a nine to five job, finding the time to write, or even the will, can be tough. But a true writer will do it. I try and find some time to write every day. Even if I only get ten minutes of writing time, I make sure I've written something every day. Sure, the next day I may delete everything I've written the previous day, but I still did it. I still wrote. If you can't be bothered to put the effort in, then you're not a writer.

Another key point is a basic grasp of the language you choose to write in. In my case, that would be English. I'm not saying I don't make mistakes. I do. I get the spelling and the grammar wrong, I choose the wrong words, I write shit that sometimes just doesn't make sense. But I don't stick numbers in words. I don't use that most dreaded of things, text speak. There are so many bloggers out there whose blogs I just can't read because their butchery of the English language, which can be quite beautiful at times, is so absolute as to render the entire thing nonsensical. If you can't use language, you're not a writer. A writer needs to be understood by readers.

And there's the other main point of my argument. Why is someone who isn't getting paid to write not a writer, but someone who reads without getting paid to do it is a reader? Likewise, I play computer games a lot. I don't get paid for it. I am a gamer. My sister's fiance, Chris, plays the drums. He doesn't get paid to do it. He's still a drummer. I can go on, though I don't think I need to. If all of those are true, then why is it not true of writing?

There is a difference between being a writer and being a paid writer, but the thing they both have in common is that they are both writers. I've been fortunate to speak to some very good writers in my time, who have been paid to write, as well as knowing others who have done the same. There are plenty of writers out there who get paid to do it, who are happy to give advice to the rest of us. Neil Gaiman, Peter David and Stephen King are all known to give advice to the people they meet who tell them they're writers, and who try to help them out. They don't turn around and say "Have you been published? Because if you haven't, you're not a writer."

It's actually the words of Orson Scott Card which spring to mind now. If you meet him and tell him you're a writer, he will always respond by asking "Are you?" If you respond hesitantly, mumble about not being published or have any reaction other than "Yes, I am", then you're not a writer, so I suppose it's also a mental thing.

It's not about being published though, it's about writing. I write. So, am I a writer?

Yes. I am.

My Monsters - part 1 - The Vampire

I've been planning a series of blogs all about my favourite monsters for a while now, but for one reason or another, it kept getting put off. But then Halloween rolled around. That seems as good a reason as any other to get this Monster jam going! And where better to start than my personal favourite, the vampire.

Now, before we get started, I need to specify something here. When I say "vampire", I don't mean the kind of mewling, pathetic, emo bitch of a shampire as portrayed in Twilight and its ilk. No, I mean the evil, blood-sucking fiend who would think nothing of tearing your throat out and drinking down your life's blood in a heartbeat.

I remember, as a child, the vampire was the first monster which truly terrified me. At that young age, I couldn't realy pin down why a vampire was so much more scary to me than, say, a zombie or Frankenstein's Creature, but looking back now, it seems obvious. Of all the monsters out there, the ones haunting our nightmares and sending a shiver down our spine, the vampire was the most human.

Like many people, my introduction to the vampire came through the most famous one of all, Count Dracula, when I can't have been much more than five or six. My cousin had a ladybird childrens book which told a version of the story (heavily edited, of course), and it fascinated me. When it was read to my cousin and I, we were told to cover our eyes if one of the pictures scared us, or to ask that we stop if we reached a point which was too much for us. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I was scared, yes, but I was also completely engrossed. Not by the story though. That would come many years later. No, rather, it was Dracula himself, this vampire creature, which had caught my attention. Had anyone asked me even five minutes after the book had been read to me what had actually happened, I couldn't have told them. I had the attention span of a small, sugar filled child who was wearing a towel around his neck as a cape. Dracula though, he was there. And he's never really left.



This was a monster who walked like a man, who was intelligent, charming and pure evil. I had nightmares for a while after that, but at the same time, I was intrigued. This feeling only grew with my second encounter with a vampire, as far as I can recall. Once again, the vampire in question was Dracula, only this time, he was on television in one of my favourite programmes. The show in question? Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends.

In the episode The Bride of Dracula, the Count takes a shine to Firestar, hypnotising her into wanting to marry him. Naturally, Spider-Man and Iceman don't take too kindly to this, so follow Dracula to Transylvania in an attempt to rescue her. Of course, Spidey and Iceman succeed, but this episode still left a lasting impression on me. I recognised Dracula as the same character from the book I'd previously encountered him in, and once more, I was both scared of him and intrigued by him. While yes, the characterisation is obviously pitched at kids, moreso than in the Ladybird book, he was still clearly the same character, and still scary to me. Sure, Spider-Man may have beaten him, but it was one of only two episodes which actually made me worried for Spidey (the other had Spidey fighting a creature called the Arachnoid, which I'll actually go into in a later post). Interestingly, those are also the only two episodes of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends which stayed with me right up until I rediscovered the show on DVD last year.



As I continued to grow older, vampires continued to scare and fascinate me in equal measure, and I continued to stumble across them in the books, TV shows and films I enjoyed. One in particular which sticks in my mind was in the very first Fighting Fantasy book I ever played. The Warlock of Firetop Mountain features an encounter with a vampire, which managed to scare me while I was reading it, and it probably didn't help that the vampire killed me that first time out. The scene is accompanied by an image, but not of the vampire, just of a crypt filled with coffins. The rest of the scene was left up completely to the readers imagination, and this particular reader, even at that age, had a pretty vivid one. I probably wasn't helped by the following passage, which came if you lost the fight with the creature:-

"As you approach, he rises from his coffin, spreads his cloak and takes you under it. Your last living memory is a flash of pain as his sharp teeth sink into your neck. You should never have let yourself make eye-contact with a VAMPIRE!"

Damn right I shouldn't!

So, the vampire scared me, and did so for a good long while. It was the fear that lingered after all the other childhood fears I had (and I was a wuss of a child, so there were a few) were gone. I'm not sure exactly when the fear subsided, but the fascination stayed. Here is a creature who used to be human, who has power, immortality and, seemingly, a hedonistic lifestyle which we all crave. But it's also an animal, filled with a savagery and bloodlust second to none. The switch between to two can come frighteningly quickly too. Witness the scene in The Lost Boys where the vampires attack the revellers by the campfire. The vamps go from normal looking to animal in a matter of seconds before tearing their victims apart and drinking their blood, in a visceral scene which, if your not expecting it in a film which has largely been played for laughs so far, can surprise you.



Part of what fascinates me about the vampire is the mythology behind it. There was a time when, thanks to all sorts of diseases and conditions which are easliy cured today, people genuinely believed in vampires, and most of the vampire lore used in fiction today sprung out of ideas and beliefs which people actually had in the dark ages, which were later popularised as part of the fiction by Bram Stoker and others. Many of these simply boil down to the idea that you should avoid evil, for example, the whole "never invite a vampire into your home" rule could also sensibly be applied to many things: thieves, murderers, devils, Jehovah's witnesses, Anne Widdecombe... I could go on. But, so tied to the vampire is it, that there's now this idea that a vampire physically can't enter a home, or at least has no power within, without being invited. That said, Let The Right One In had a very interesting take on this. I won't spoil it here, as I know a lot of people haven't seen it, but I'm hoping this is something they keep in the remake, Let Me In.

Also, the religious iconography repelling vampires is something which has also applied to many other monsters and demons throughout literature and popular culture, but again, it's so tied to the vampire these days. There are interesting takes on it though. Some stories have it that it's only the cross the vampire fears, and that it's just that: a fear. There are others though where the cross actually hurts the vampire physically, such as the Hammer series of Dracula films (Brides of Dracula in particular features an ingenious use of a windmill to create a crucifix which kills its antagonist, Baron Meinster) or the vampires of Joss Whedon's Buffyverse. However, a more interesting take on it is the idea that any religious iconography will repel a vampire, but only if the person wielding it has faith in the religion it represents. This was best illustrated, bizarrely, in X-Men Annual #6, in which the X-Men fought, yes, him again, Dracula. At one point, Wolverine creates a makeshift crucifix using his claws, but, since Logan ain't exactly the religious type, it has absolutely no effect on Dracula. However, when Kitty Pryde, a practicing Jew, brandishes the Star of David at the big-daddy vamp, he shrinks back in fear. I can't find many more examples of this particular idea, but if I'm honest, it's the one which makes most sense to me. Why would a crucifix work for someone who doesn't believe in God?



For the most part, these days, the vampire has had his fangs pulled out. Twilight has seen to that, with it's sparkly-glowy bullshit vampires, though in fairness, some of the blame must lie with Anne Rice and, loathe as I am to speak out against my master, Joss Whedon, who popularised the idea of good vampires. It doesn't matter how well Whedon did it, how good his stories were, it still put that idea out there for others to latch onto. But there was a time when the vampire was, arguably, the king of the monsters, the most evil and feared of them all. The scary vamps are still out there, they're just not doing the business at the moment. I have no doubt though that there will come a time when people are bored of the nice, fluffy pet vampires and want the evil bastards back again. But until they do, here's a list of some of my favourite vampire stories to finish with:-

Reading:
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Stoker's Dracula (Marvel comics adaptation)
Vault of the Vampire (Fighting Fantasy book)
Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett
Salem's Lot by Stephen King
30 Days of Night
Captain Britain: Vampire Nation

Film/TV
Nosferatu
Dracula (Universal version)
Horror of Dracula (Hammer version)
Brides of Dracula
Dracula: Prince of Darkness
Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel
From Dusk 'Til Dawn
The Lost Boys
Shadow of the Vampire
That one episode of Diagnosis Murder

To be continued...

Lucky

Please note, this blog isn't my usual light-hearted discussion of geeky stuff. It's one of my more personal, self-centered pieces. You have been warned.

Chances are, if you're reading this, you're doing so because you follow me on Twitter and clicked on a link I posted there. If that's the case, then there's also a fairly strong chance that you're aware that I didn't have the best start to the week. However, you will also have seen that I was determined that, as of Wednesday, my week was going to improve drastically.

It's strange, but I feel that it both has and hasn't. I'm feeling vaguely philosophical about things right now, and I'm both relieved and upset about other things.

So, yesterday morning I was awoken by a message from my dad informing me that my Grandma had suffered a nasty accident and was in hospital awaiting surgery. Unfortunately, since my Grandma is my Grandad's primary carer, this meant that my Grandad would have to go into a care home, at least temporarily. I didn't really have any more information yesterday, just a text from my Dad telling me that they were both as okay as can be expected, and he'd call me today.

I got the call today while I was at work, and I was terrified. I didn't want to answer it, didn't want to speak to Dad, just in case. But answer it I did. Thankfully, both my grandparents are okay. To a point. I mean, Grandma's had her whole hip replaced and needs to stay in hospital for a while, with a recovery period that can't be predicted. Grandad, meanwhile, has to stay in the home indefinitely. He doesn't want to be there, but we don't have a choice. Grandad's in his late eighties and... well, it's hard. When you speak to someone you care about, and they can't remember their own address or birthday... It's not something I've experienced before.

I'm worried about both my grandparents. There's a chance Grandma won't ever recover enough to be able to look after Grandad again, meaning... well, I don't really know what that means yet, and I'd rather not think about it. All I know is, for a while at least, they're both going to be on their own, and that's not a nice thought. At all. Oh, yes, they'll have family visitors, but my grandparents rely on each other in a way you only really see except in people of that generation any more. They won't admit that they need help (bit of a failing in my family, as my dad, my sister and I are all the same), but I want to give it to them. I hate that I'm so far away from them right now, and I feel awful for both of them.

But, you know what? It could've been a lot worse. I'm twenty-eight years old, and I still have all four of my grandparents. I know that's a rare thing, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. My dad's parents may be getting on, and yes, certainly right now, it's not easy, but they're still here. And my mum's parents are fit as fiddles. Fiddles which go down the gym and lift weights on a regular basis. I've had nearly three decades with them in my life, and that's awesome. I have some amazing memories of all my grandparents, and I love them all dearly.

I'm lucky, and I know it. I've never lost anyone close to me. Yes, I've known people who died, but never family or one of my close friends. We lost my pet cat, Verity, when I was fifteen, and you know, I still miss her. Incidentally, owning Verity convinced me that cats were intelligent creatures. Boy, Caliban blew that theory apart! But I digress. When the only creature you love that you've lost in close to three decades is your cat, well, yeah, I'm damn lucky.

So while, yes, I'm worried and upset for my grandparents, I'm also in a place right now where I'm feeling pretty good. I've been reminded that, as much as things sometimes suck, and as much as life may throw some shit at you, it can be far, far worse. I've got a lot I can be thankful for in my life, and no matter what happens, I always will do. The good stuff's happened. There's more to come, I'm sure, but whatever else, the past is always there.

Sometimes things suck. No doubt they will do again. But at the end of the day, I'm a very lucky man. I just need to try and remember that.

Write Up of a Read Through part 2

I am knackered! Honestly, I'm not sure why, but sitting there listening to people read my script out loud was really tiring. Maybe I was so nervous beforehand that I used up that much energy, or maybe those two lines I delivered really took it out of me, but whatever the reason, I just want to lie down in a darkened room with a bottle of whiskey and listen to Dark Side of the Moon.

Tiredness aside though, this afternoon's read through of More Than This, the film script I've been working on for a while now, went really well. Everyone went for it, getting into their roles and delivering their lines wonderfully. It was good to hear others interpretations of my characters without me giving them any direction beforehand. It's changed how I hear a couple of the characters in my head, for the better, while two in particular were read out exactly as I had imagined them, which is also a good thing. As a matter of fact, if I do manage to get this thing made in the near future, I'm seriously considering offering a couple of those parts to the people who read them this afternoon.

Just before I go any further, I want to give a massive shout out to my readers. First of all, Bernt, who came along saying he didn't want to read a part, so I made him read the directions, meaning he had more to read out than anyone else! Poor guy. I should buy him a drink. As for the characters, Ricky, Carew, Lowri, Ana, Andy and Alex, thank you guys so much. I owe you all big time for this one. And also, thanks to Nicki, who came along and didn't read, but was a useful gauge for how an audience might react.

I know what you want to know though. Did anyone cock up any lines? Yes. Within the first couple of pages. Sigh. And the fool who choked first? That'd be me. I had two lines. I wrote them. I screwed up the first one. There's a reason I haven't acted for years!

During the read through itself, the first thing which I noticed was also the thing I was possibly most worried about. The guys seemed to find it funny. This was such a relief to me. More Than This is supposed to be a comedy, but I hadn't found it funny for a while. I figured this may simply be because I was too close to it, but I also had that nagging doubt that, maybe, it just wasn't funny. But no, everyone laughed at it, and everyone enjoyed it. Sure, some of that comes with the delivery, but a lot of it does come from the words, and it seems that I wrote some humorous words. Phew.

Another thing I was worried about going in was the dialogue. I was worried some of it was quite clunky, and wouldn't flow naturally. And some of it was, but not nearly as much as I expected. In fact, and while they didn't know it, this was one of the nicest compliments I've ever been paid, the guys loved the dialogue. I pride myself on my ability to write dialogue. I think I'm good at getting an ear for how characters should sound and what they would say, while also getting it to flow and sound natural. The thing is, you know what they say about pride. I was genuinely terrified that maybe it was just me that thought that. Sure, both Drew and Joe have complimented some of the dialogue I wrote for Stiffs, but what if that was a fluke? What if I wasn't nearly as good as I thought? So to get that validation from the guys was huge for me, not just in my confidence in More Than This as a script, but in my own abilities as a writer. Yes, like I said, some of the dialogue doesn't quite work yet, but it's not a final draft. There's more to come. And anyway, I think part of that is related to the next point...

The characters. The central trio, in particular, seemed to go down pretty well, in terms of their overall characters and arcs within the story, such as they are. Some of the other minor characters also seemed popular, which was gratifying. It's always good to know you can create memorable characters that people like. That said, there are two characters who are pretty key to the film as a whole, both of whom need developing. One of these, I already knew about. He's in there as little more than a plot point at the moment, and as he's written currently, there's something about him which doesn't make much sense (yes, I'm trying to write this spoiler free). But that just confirmed something I was already aware of. The other one, I wasn't so aware of going into the reading, but when it was pointed out to me afterwards, I really had to agree. Both these characters need some work, and arguably, it's some of their dialogue which is the weakest in the script. I reckon if I can work these characters out in the next draft, then the dialogue may come with them.

The swearing? Staying in. In fact, I may add more. The massively geeky references? Going nowhere. People loved them. There was also a suggestion regarding a certain act of violence in the script which I, personally, loved. So that'll be going in.

This has been a really postive and incredibly useful experience. I've been given a lot of stuff I can use for More Than This version 5.0, and I'm looking forward to cracking on with it. My episodes of Supermarket Matters for Mark and co-writing Stiffs with Drew and Joe are the priorities for now, because these have more or less definite deadlines, and leave others reliant on me turning work in. I love writing these projects, and think I'm also not doing a half bad job on them. But much as I love them, More Than This is something else to me. It's something entirely my own and, for a number of reasons, it's also a deeply personal script, and to know I'm on the right track with it is immensely gratifying. I'm gonna try and do little bits on the next draft here and there, but the big push will probably come in the new year, with an eye to maybe shooting it (and I can't stress how much emphasis I need to put on that maybe) in the spring/summer of 2011.

And ya know what? Beyond the feedback and validation, it was actually just fun to sit down with some people and read a script.

Once again, thank you guys. So, wanna do it again for the next draft?